I am fairly certain that a lot of women in this world have found themselves in very similar situations with men. You meet a man and you are somewhat interested in him. He is charming and so you decide to actually give him a chance. He is persistent and you like that. The two of you make plans to go out on a date and you have a lot of fun with him. Sparks seem to be flying left and right.
You know that the two of you have a real connection and you want to be able to build on it. As time goes by, you get more and more comfortable in each other’s company. And you genuinely start to think to yourself that maybe he’s the guy you’ve been waiting for all this time.
You think that maybe he’s the man you’re going to be spending the rest of your life with. You start to think that what you have is something special and worth cherishing forever. You start to dream and fantasize about the lives that the two of you are going to share together.
And then, almost as on cue, he vanishes from your life completely. It’s as if he knows by instinct that you’re really starting to take him seriously and so he decides to bolt rather than actually reciprocate your feelings and emotions. As if without a care in the world about how it might make you feel, he abandons you. He walks away from everything that the two of you have built and everything that the two of you could possibly become.
And just like that, there is a drastic paradigm shift in your life. From being sure, safe, happy, and content, you are now broken, tired, depressed, anxious, and frustrated. And it’s all because he couldn’t bring himself to commit to you the way that you did for him.
The worst part is that you are left alone to deal with all of your feelings by yourself. You have to somehow make sense of all of this without him and that’s what really stings. You have to somehow come to terms with the fact that what you had wasn’t real because it all came crashing down in the end. You have to deal with all of that disappointment and pain.
And it might be frustrating to know this but the truth is that there will come moments in your dating life wherein the moment you decide to reveal your true feelings will also be the same time that he will decide to show his true colors – and they won’t be something that you would want to see.
The moment you allow yourself to become vulnerable would also be the time for him to just get up and leave because he is unwilling or incapable of doing the same with you. The moment you decide to let your own guard down, he’s going to decide to put up more walls around him to make himself as inaccessible and as unreachable as possible. That’s just a sad truth that you have to deal with.
It’s perfectly okay to feel angry and frustrated at the thought of it all. It’s okay that you feel like you are being compelled to just go straight to his house, march up to his front door, and scream at him for being so stupid and reckless with you. And even though you find such great comfort in such an idea; even though you might think that this is the best thing to do, you shouldn’t.
You don’t want to be giving him any more attention than you should be giving. You don’t want to come off as reckless and pathetic. You don’t want to come off as sad and desperate. So, instead of coming off as the girl who just can’t seem to face the facts, be the girl who brings the truth instead. You should never beg any man to stay with you. As a strong woman, you should have the bravery and courage to walk away whenever you know that he isn’t worth it.
If a man never makes an effort to spend time with you, then he’s a guy who should never be worthy of your time either. Only be willing to give your time, energy, and attention to the things and people who are actually deserving of it. Your time is precious and you shouldn’t be wasting it on weak and cowardly men.
If a man never acts as if he cares about you, then dump him. He’s just trying to show that he’s cool and macho. He doesn’t want to be vulnerable with you and so that means he isn’t deserving of your vulnerability either. Don’t beg. Just walk away. He doesn’t deserve you and he never will.
Featured image via HBO