Let’s call a spade a spade here. Let’s just acknowledge the fact that breakups aren’t always going to be so neat and tidy. In fact, a lot of the time, a breakup can be incredibly messy. When it comes to love, it can always become very emotional. People involved in breakups can often be operating on emotional fumes rather than logical ones.
And that’s perfectly normal because there are just so many feelings that need to be managed in the midst of a breakup. You can be feeling so many intense feelings at one time such as heartbreak, regret, disappointment, anger, and loathing. It’s not really all that rare to commit things that you wouldn’t typically do under normal circumstances.
And a lot of times, when you are forced to end an intimate relationship with someone who is near and dear to your heart, you can often engage in some kind of self-loathing. You hate yourself. You become disappointed with how you let things get so bad. You are disappointed with how you let love slip right through your fingers. And that’s not good because the only way you are ever going to be able to heal from a terrible breakup is if you regain your sense of self-worth; your sense of confidence. And you can’t do that if you continue to hate yourself.
Yes, a breakup is always devastating. But that shouldn’t be an excuse for you to just give up on life completely. You still have to be able to find a way to move on. You should still be willing to live the life that you’ve always been dreaming of living. Remember that just because your love affair didn’t necessarily work out the way that you wanted it to doesn’t mean that you aren’t deserving of finding love eventually. You are ALWAYS going to be deserving of love. But you are never going to find it if you just let yourself stay broken and depressed about your breakup.
The key to recovering from a breakup lies in deciding for yourself that you WANT to move on. Sometimes, a lot of people just want to wallow in their misery after a breakup. And that’s perfectly acceptable. It’s always healthy to confront one’s own emotions after a traumatic event in life. However, it also gets to a point wherein wallowing in one’s feelings can become very unproductive and just downright detrimental to a person’s overall well-being.
So, if you’ve decided on wanting to move on from your breakup, then good for you. You just might need some help moving forward and that’s exactly what this article is for. Here are a few things that you need to remember if you’re trying to regain your confidence and sense of self-respect after a breakup.
1. Set some very clear boundaries for yourself and your ex.
Sometimes, you need to police yourself. You need to be able to set boundaries for yourself. If moving on means you establishing a “no contact” rule with your ex, then so be it. Be your own watchman. Make sure that you follow your own rules. Be strict with yourself.
2. Learn how to really forgive your ex and yourself.
You aren’t going to be able to move on with your life if you keep on harboring ill feelings and emotions. You can’t let your sanity be tainted by the lingering thoughts of your ex. You have to be able to let all of that go if you want to eventually focus on making yourself better in the long run. And the only way you can do so is if you actually forgive your ex. And more importantly, forgive yourself. Things didn’t work out between the two of you but it’s pointless to be playing the blame game. Sometimes, life just doesn’t go according to plan. And you just have to be able to make the most of the situation that you’re in.
3. Focus on your own life as you try to rebuild.
It can be very daunting and intimidating to face a life after your breakup. But that’s just something that you’re going to have to accept. You are emerging into a new phase of your life; one that doesn’t involve your boyfriend. And you need to be brave enough to face the world on your own. Of course, you can always rely on your friends and loved ones. But ultimately, you have to be able to rely on yourself. So continue on building yourself. Become the strong and independent person that you were always meant to be. Learn to build a life for yourself that you could actually be proud of. Pursue the life that you have always wanted. Know that you are deserving of the best things that life has to offer and that you never have to shy away from attaining what you want.