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Cheating

If Your Partner Says One Of These 12 Things, They Might Cheat On You

Isla Emmet Isla Emmet | March 11, 2019 | 12 min read

Cheating absolutely sucks. There should be no room for any kind of infidelity or unfaithfulness in a romantic relationship. There’s absolutely no rational scenario on earth that would make cheating justifiable. No circumstance makes cheating okay. But still, it happens. And you need to brace yourself for it when it does.

When you get into a relationship with someone, you always want to be seeing the best of them. You always want to assume that they’re going to do right by you and that they would never betray you. However, the fact of the matter is that it’s still possible that the person you love the most is going to betray you.

That’s why you still want to be keeping your guard up. You still want to be keeping vigilant. A lot of that lies in making sure that you be on the lookout for any red flags. If you’re curious as to what you should be looking out for, then read on until the end of this article.

Highlighted here will be a few phrases that your partner will utter that might serve as potential red flags for cheating and infidelity. If you notice that your partner says a lot of the things listed here, then you need to stay wary of them.

1. “If I cheated on you, what would you do?”

Hypotheticals have a way of manifesting themselves in reality as well. That’s why you shouldn’t be taking hypothetical questions like these lightly. It means that your partner has engaged in thoughts about actually cheating on you.

This question might come up in a seemingly playful context, but it often carries a weight that shouldn’t be dismissed. Your partner might be testing the waters to see how you would react in such a situation. It’s also possible that they’re gauging the consequences of their potential actions. Your response could either deter them or inadvertently encourage them, so you need to address the root of this question.

Engage in a candid conversation about why this question came up. Ask them directly if there’s something specific that prompted their curiosity. Ensure that your partner understands the seriousness of infidelity in your relationship. Reinforce the importance of honesty and openness as foundations of your partnership. This conversation might reveal underlying issues that need attention to prevent actual infidelity. By addressing this question head-on, you can potentially prevent future problems and reinforce the trust between you.

2. “Why does it matter where I’m going?”

When your partner suddenly starts to become secretive about where they’re going and what they’re doing, it could be because they’re sneaking around behind your back. They may also get defensive and shift the blame when you ask questions, retorting with “Why do you care?” and “It’s none of your business where I am all the time!”

This kind of defensiveness can be a major red flag. In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel comfortable sharing their whereabouts and plans. If your partner’s behavior suddenly changes, it’s essential to question why. Are they trying to hide something from you? Or have they developed a new sense of independence that excludes you?

Observe if this secretive behavior is consistent or if it occurs sporadically. Consistency in such behavior can indicate a pattern, suggesting that there’s more to it than meets the eye. Try having a calm conversation about trust and transparency. Express your concerns without sounding accusatory. Let them know that you’re not trying to be controlling but rather seeking reassurance. Your partner’s reaction to this conversation can tell you a lot about their intentions and the health of your relationship.

3. “I’m sorry I didn’t text you all day. I’ve been very busy.”

Your partner couldn’t spare at least just 30 seconds to tell you that they’re working on something? Sure. Sounds a little farfetched though.

While everyone has busy days, consistent lack of communication can be a red flag. If your partner frequently uses this excuse, it’s worth examining the situation more closely. Are they genuinely swamped, or is this a convenient way to avoid interacting with you? Consider whether they used to communicate more regularly and if this behavior is a recent development.

Observe their body language and tone when they give this excuse. Are they genuinely apologetic, or do they seem dismissive of your concerns? A partner who values the relationship will make an effort to stay connected, even during hectic times. If their behavior doesn’t match their words, it’s time to have a conversation. Let them know how their lack of communication makes you feel. A partner who truly cares will take steps to reassure you and improve their communication habits.

4. “You’re so stupid.”

Insults are terrible in whatever scenario. But it’s especially terrible whenever they are made in the context of a romantic relationship. It’s never a good thing when you’re with a partner who just openly insults you to your face. It might mean that they are sick of you. And that contempt can lead them to infidelity. 9 Stupid Relationship Games You Shouldn’t Be Putting Up With.

Disrespectful language has no place in a healthy relationship. Such remarks can erode your self-esteem and create an environment of hostility. If your partner frequently resorts to insults, you need to address this behavior immediately. A relationship should be a safe space where both partners feel valued and respected.

Confront your partner about their language and express how it affects you. Make it clear that such behavior is unacceptable and that you deserve to be treated with kindness. Pay attention to their response. A partner who genuinely cares will apologize and make a conscious effort to change their behavior. If they dismiss your concerns or continue with the insults, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship. Remember, mutual respect is a cornerstone of any successful partnership, and without it, the relationship is likely to crumble.

5. “The office is making me travel a lot more nowadays.”

This is a classic excuse that a lot of cheaters give to their partners whenever they want to engage in infidelity. They cheat on their partners and they will use their work responsibilities as a perfect alibi for them to get time away without drawing suspicion.

Frequent business trips can indeed be a legitimate part of many jobs. However, if these trips are sudden and frequent with little explanation, it’s reasonable to question their authenticity. Consider whether your partner has shared details about their work responsibilities before. Have these trips been a recent development, or are they part of a longstanding pattern?

Ask your partner about the nature of these trips and any changes in their work responsibilities. Genuine work-related travel should have verifiable details, such as locations, clients, or projects involved. If your partner is vague or defensive about these details, it’s worth investigating further. Trust your instincts and gather more information if something feels off. While it’s essential to respect your partner’s privacy, you also have a right to transparency in the relationship.

6. “He probably had his reasons for cheating on her.”

If your partner is justifying the unfaithful behavior of another person, then you have reason to be scared. You might be with someone who sees cheating as acceptable in certain scenarios. And that should definitely make you feel uneasy. Here’s How You Can Tell If Your Boyfriend Is Cheating On You

Rationalizing infidelity in others can be a sign that your partner lacks a clear moral stance on cheating. This attitude can be a precursor to them justifying their own potential infidelities. If your partner often defends such behavior, it might indicate a deeper issue with their perception of relationships and commitments.

Engage your partner in a discussion about this perspective. Ask why they feel it’s okay to justify cheating and what their boundaries are when it comes to fidelity. Understand their viewpoint and share your own thoughts on the matter. you need to establish clear boundaries and values in your relationship. If your partner is unwilling to align with these values, it could be a sign of deeper incompatibilities. Ensuring you’re on the same page about relationship ethics can prevent misunderstandings and potential heartbreaks in the future.

7. “I feel like you don’t really appreciate me anymore.”

Be very careful when your partner expresses a lack of validation or appreciation in the relationship. That might be a sign that they’re actively seeking validation elsewhere – maybe even in the arms of another. What does it mean when she says, “I appreciate you”.

Feelings of underappreciation can be a breeding ground for infidelity. When someone feels neglected, they might seek validation and affection outside the relationship. It’s important to address these feelings before they lead to actions that can damage the relationship.

Ask your partner for specific instances where they felt undervalued. Understanding their perspective can help you identify areas for improvement. Take proactive steps to show appreciation and build your connection. Small gestures of gratitude and acknowledgment can go a long way in rebuilding the bond. Ensure that your partner knows they’re loved and valued, and encourage them to reciprocate. Open communication is key to resolving these feelings and preventing them from escalating into larger issues.

8. “Are you cheating on me?”

If your partner is asking you whether you’re cheating on them out of the blue, then that might be a bad sign. It might mean that they’re cheating on you and that they’re just assuming that you would be doing the same as well. How do I Forgive My Boyfriend for Cheating on Me? This behavior can stem from their own insecurities or guilt, projecting their actions onto you. It’s essential to communicate openly, addressing any fears or concerns before they escalate. Exploring unconditional love phrases to recognize can also help reaffirm your commitment to each other and build trust in your relationship.

This accusation can emerge from a place of insecurity or guilt. If your partner is projecting their fears onto you, it’s necessary to address these feelings immediately. Their sudden concern about infidelity might signal their own unfaithfulness or a lack of trust in the relationship.

Talk to your partner about the origins of their suspicions. Have they noticed a change in your behavior, or are their fears unfounded? Reassure them of your commitment to the relationship and ask for the same in return. Clear communication about boundaries and feelings of insecurity can help rebuild trust. It’s essential to address these issues before they lead to misunderstandings or resentment. Building a strong foundation of trust matters — you need to prevent such accusations from damaging your relationship.

9. “Why do you keep on asking where I’m going?”

Transparency shouldn’t typically be an issue for the healthiest and strongest relationships. That is why if your partner is acting shady and refuses to tell you certain details about plans that they might have, you have a reason for worry. How Can I Spice Up My Relationship With My Boyfriend?

Lack of transparency can lead to misunderstandings and mistrust. If your partner is consistently withholding information about their whereabouts, it’s important to question why. Are they guarding their privacy, or is there something more concerning at play?

Discuss the importance of openness and honesty in your relationship. Let your partner know that their secretive behavior raises doubts and concerns. A healthy relationship thrives on mutual trust and understanding. If your partner values the relationship, they’ll be willing to work on improving transparency. Reassure them that you’re not trying to invade their privacy but seeking reassurance and connection. If they remain elusive or dismissive, it might be time to reevaluate the dynamics of your relationship.

10. “Why can’t you be more like _____?”

Any kind of comparison to another person is going to be bad and unhealthy for any relationship. However, if your partner alludes to a certain person in particular, then it’s possible that they’re the ones they are cheating on you with.

Comparisons can be incredibly damaging to self-esteem and relationship dynamics. When your partner compares you to someone else, it can create feelings of inadequacy and resentment. you need to address this issue promptly to prevent it from escalating.

Ask your partner why they feel the need to make these comparisons. Are they genuinely trying to improve the relationship, or is there something else at play? Understanding their motivations can help you address the root of the issue. Encourage your partner to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship rather than idealizing others. Reinforce the unique qualities that make your partnership special. If comparisons persist, it might be time to have a deeper conversation about compatibility and expectations.

11. “I don’t want to give you my phone’s passcode!”

Everyone is entitled to their privacy. However, it’s really weird if you notice that your partner is overly protective of their communication devices. What do they have to hide from you anyway? Should you really be worried? 15 Ways Your Phone is damaging your Relationship

The balance between privacy and transparency can be tricky to navigate in a relationship. While everyone deserves personal space, excessive secrecy can raise red flags. If your partner is particularly guarded about their phone, it’s worth exploring why.

Initiate a conversation about trust and boundaries. Let them know that their behavior makes you question their intentions. A partner who values trust and openness will seek to reassure you and find a middle ground. Determine what level of transparency you’re both comfortable with and respect those boundaries. If your partner continually resists, it might indicate deeper issues in the relationship that need addressing.

12. “Oh, is today our anniversary?”

IT’s definitely bad whenever your partner starts to forget the important dates in your relationship. It might be a sign that they’ve started checking out of your romantic situation and they’re not really interested in being with you anymore. 15 “Small Things” That Actually Mean A Lot To Her

Forgetting significant dates can indicate a lack of investment in the relationship. While everyone has moments of forgetfulness, habitual negligence can suggest a deeper issue. If your partner consistently overlooks important milestones, it’s worth examining their level of commitment.

Discuss the importance of these dates and what they mean to you. Express your feelings about the oversight without resorting to blame. Encourage your partner to participate in celebrating your relationship’s milestones. If they show genuine remorse and make an effort to remember in the future, it can build your connection. However, if they dismiss your concerns or continue to forget, it might indicate a lack of interest in maintaining the relationship. Addressing this issue head-on can prevent further misunderstandings and foster a more attentive and connected partnership.

Talk to Me

What actions have you taken when noticing these red flags in your relationship?


Comments

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Mark Wilbur · March 3, 2020

This is the worst article I’ve ever seen you post! Seriously “how do you like my haircut” means I might be cheating!? That’s ridiculous! Sorry I didn’t text I was busy leads to the same suspicion!? How about sorry I had to get some gas!? Absolutely stupid and very wrong to even put that kind of garbage in someone’s head! Maybe pause and a common sense review before posting! MW

    C
    Corrina · June 8, 2023

    I disagree… My husband said a lot of those things to me and it turns out he was being unfaithful with me.

    D
    Dominic L Williams · November 17, 2024

    You are NEVER so busy that you cant take 60 secs to send a quick reply. Miss me with the BS.

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shazi · March 3, 2020

What if SHE.. cheats HE .???

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Steven Jeffers · March 4, 2020

Walk away just like I did
Be a real man and walk away
And if so get help

    D
    Danielle · December 9, 2023

    Finally a man who knows to walk away instead of cheating….ty Steven

J
Jet · April 20, 2020

This is written by an uneducated person. Most of these comments just lead to a real breakdown in any relationship. Just be 100% honest and leave those that cannot be honest or trusted. Trust your instincts, for they Are making you feel uneasy for a reason. When you feel something is wrong take a break from that person and see what happens. Be prepared to face the truth. Life will definitely not always go your way. You must face that reality and it can & will hurt Beyond Your Imagination.

    S
    Starmel · July 6, 2024

    Very true

      B
      Becks · October 3, 2024

      Going through this right now after 20 years together I knew he was cheating but he’s done it a number of times and I always let him back in.. my fault I guess but the hurting is still the same
      ….

        R
        Randy · January 27, 2025

        I’m truly sorry to hear that 😔

        A
        Angel · February 7, 2026

        You never lied I been with my husband 8 years married for four and he just recently finally exposed himself now that I finally figured out he been gaslighting me and manipulating me for this whole time I can say I’m filing for divorce and walking away I mean the whole relationship he has been lying and cheating and not once has he even tried to change it! I’m done #nevergettingmarried again

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· April 21, 2020

Haha, Mark Wilbur you are right, it’s not always like that.There is some instances that beyond your control, and it doesn’t mean that cheating if you didn’t do it.But it is true if the person really have an affair they are like that always conscious about their appearance and very busy to the point even his/her cellphone with security code. Something strange about them if the person have affair with someone.They cannot control their feelings deeply madly inlove, it’s me and you against the world.

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· April 21, 2020

What if you change your boyfriend hair color and you see him taking selfie pictures?

M
Michelle · May 9, 2020

My husband cheated on me during my whole 18 years marriage because I was stupid not knowing! But the women he cheated with new he was married? So that being said what comes around goes around!!!!

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Nancy · August 30, 2022

You have the right to be happy! I left one of the biggest cheaters this world will ever see and it was the best decision I ever made just move on and leave all that behind you

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Teressa · February 11, 2023

Cheating is a choice period.

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Evelyn · February 26, 2024

My ex cheated on me first 28 years. He knew he couldn’t find another woman as good as me.(so he wanted his cake , and eat it to) I collected evidence of his cheating and filed for divorce.

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Trina Newman · March 23, 2024

Well a lot of things that you mentioned is signs of a person if security if you ask me I don’t like nobody asking me details questions about where I’m going like I’m a child if I say I’m going out I’ll be making a little later that should be good enough if you need details then you need to check yourself because I don’t need details when somebody’s going anywhere as long as you respect the house i the sanctity of this household and me I don’t care where you are I’m not an insecure person and I don’t need to check on somebody’s having me of that hey I feel like that is intrusive it’s a bit much like somebody going out they going out don’t eat a bunch of questions about me I’m going out well sometimes you don’t even know where you going when you don’t know where you going to end up all you know that you going out for the day and to give somebody an itinerary like their your king queen mother father is insecure and unacceptable

    L
    Lisa · August 23, 2024

    Actually out of respect ypu you should let your partner know where you’re going and where you’ll be just in case there is an emergency or ypu need them for some important reason evt.

      G
      Gabriel Echevarria · May 4, 2026

      Exactly

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Trina Newman · March 23, 2024

This is Trina again some of my comments might be a little mixed up because I talk text because I have a couple tunnel but I hope that whoever reading this can get the gift of what I was trying to say

    R
    Rain or Shine... · March 25, 2024

    Trina, don’t write. 😅 you not only have tunnels, but u have whirlpool within you. Anyone who reads have the ‘gift’ of reading English. But God help them understand! 🔮 About questions asked, even if you maintain the sanctity of the house, when you are asked, you need to answer with clarity. Else you don’t know where you are going, as you said, then don’t go. Parents don’t have insecurity. They are worried about your security. Don’t be oversmart. Be humble and caring. Answer when asked.

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Bernard Shape · May 26, 2024

Cheating is not an option. Revenge cheating only leads to Betrayal Olympics and it ends in tears. If you no longer want to be in the relationship, walk away. In fact in the relationship always leave room for DISAPPOINTMENT, just like you allow for DEPRECIATION STRAIGHT LINE METHOD in accounting.

J
Joshua · October 7, 2024

Excellent and professional investigative services. I hired (hack4net8@ gmail .com)for a very private and difficult matter of hacking my SPOUSE’s phone and he far exceeded my expectations. He helped me get some info such as WhatsApp, Facebook, text messages, call logs and even phone conversations that I needed for proof of his secretive affair. The first time we spoke, we had a very long phone consultation in which he gave me all my options that he could think of to resolve my case, and he even recommended I try other options before hiring him, which shows that he is honest. I decided to hire him and I am glad I did. He is a fantastic investigator and a great person; to all loyal partners out there if you have a dishonest partner don’t hesitate to send him a mail Contact: (hack4net8@ gmail .com)

M
MIA · October 18, 2024

that never works, do yourself a favor and just leave him! he cheated for a reason, he doesn’t care about you and if you pay evil with evil you will just end up hurt again..trust me when I tell you, peace is better then revenge! just gather yourself up, mustard up the strength and walk away. you will thank me at the end.

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Isla Emmet
Written by
Isla Emmet

Isla is a relationship writer and former counsellor based in London. With a background in psychotherapy and five years of writing about love, attachment, and emotional wellbeing, she brings a calm and deeply empathetic voice to every piece. Isla believes that understanding yourself is the first step to understanding the people you love. When she is not writing, she is hiking the Scottish Highlands or curled up with a good novel and a strong cup of tea.