Have you ever felt that you are not as close to your partner as you used to be? Have you felt that there is a lot of space, and the differences are more than the similarities that you used to have? Do you ever find yourself imagining that your partner would leave you? Or do you feel that your partner is emotionally or physically involved with someone else, and you are stuck here, emotionally abandoned?
When these questions start to arise in your mind, then you do know what to do. You have to work hard on fixing your relationship but if you don’t know what to do then there are a few further questions that you need to ask your own self and a few steps that you need to take.
The first question that will come to your mind is that should you stay with your partner or should you leave? This is something which is very hard to decide because once you have spent a large part of your life with the person you love, it is never too easy to leave them.
So do you want to stay or do you want to leave?
No long-term relationship is perfect, which is why you should be mentally prepared, right in the beginning, that there will be a few problems in your relationship. Obviously when you are prepared to marry someone, you are at a maturity level where the realities of life are quite clear to you. When at a certain point in your life, you start to believe that your partner may seem a little distant or you do not feel as close to your partner as you always felt, that is when you should start to push yourself towards being open, connected as well as communicative towards your partner. The lack of communication is mostly the reason where you start to get distant and you question yourself whether you want to stay with your partner or not. Continue reading to next page
There’s this thing called ‘ambivalence’ which is quite common when you are in a long-term relationship. When you live with someone, it is very easy to drift apart at some point in life. Why does this happen? It is because, sometimes, the presence of people around you may become a part of your life to an extent that you stop noticing it. You start to take a few things for granted in life which is why you may start to get voluntary or involuntary conflicting reactions towards your partner, along with a serious lack of communication.
Now once you start to feel these things, you will come across with 2 options, either you would want to stay with your partner, or you would want to leave. Leaving is usually considered when you at least give the relationship another chance. If things don’t work out, then comes the option of leaving. Leaving the person has no further explanation or specific methods, but staying and saving your relationship needs hard work as well as dedication. In all that, there are many things you will need to start doing among which the most common things are:
- Make up your mind that you do not want to give up on this relationship and you will do whatever it takes to fix it. Doing so is important because if you make up your mind, then you will give it your best otherwise you will make half-hearted efforts.
- Start being open with your partner in terms of communication and in terms of physical relationship. Try new things in your conversations, sexual life as well as everyday life.
- Providing love and support to your partner is also important that would again start conversations and feelings of care between the two of you. Force yourself a little if you have to because you only struggle for things that you truly want.
- Spend a lot of time together. Make each other laugh and talk about all those things that you have cherished in your life. Revive all those old memories that you have together, memories which you cherish and you would want to talk about for hours and hours. This would help both of you realize what you have been missing and what you need back in your life and because of that you will probably end up getting closer.
Dealing with ambivalence:
We realize that being repelled by one another in a relationship can be a huge problem. The thing about staying together even when you sense ambivalence within your relationship is that it gives you a huge opportunity for personal growth. Of course, it will be really hard for both the parties but at the end of the day if you work hard together and you struggle together, then you will come up with great results. And those results would not only fix your relationship but will change you and your partner to a level of personal growth that you never imagined before.В Continue reading to next pageВ
So, when you want to deal with ambivalence, the first thing is that make up your mind that it won’t be easy to overcome this problem.
You will have to push yourself to the edge of your patience and only then will you get the results you want. You also have to make your partner realize that you need both of you to cooperate. We have made a list of things that you will have to do while dealing with the problems in your relationship.
Here, the first one is that you will have to learn to handle the painful feelings.
There are different tricks which would help you overcome the feeling of sadness. Do a little research of your own and make sure you do not lose your sanity while saving your relationship.
The second step is to identify whether you want this more or something else more.
This part is a little tricky because no one is going to assist you. It is just you who needs to decide. If at some point you get a little too confused, you can consult a very close friend or someone who understands you and who knows how your relationship is going.
Third and an important point is to avoid arguments.
Or avoid saying stuff which might give birth to different types of arguments. It may sometimes be really hard to stay quiet when you are full of anger. If it would have been easy then everyone would have been having great relationships.
These three are simple points but they’re really powerful and making your relationship effective and better. IВ really hope that my guidance would help you in deciding what you want in your relationship.
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If you have any other advice for me, I would really love to hear from you and add to my knowledge. Let me know in the comments below!