She doesn’t believe that you love her because she has had to deal with so many broken promises in her life already. It’s because she’s so tired of working her butt off for a relationship only to end up getting betrayed or heartbroken. She’s sick of being the good girl in a relationship when all she gets for it is disappointment and stress. She doesn’t believe that you love her because she is damaged to the point wherein she no longer believes that she’s deserving of love. She has had to deal with loss one too many times in her life. And she doesn’t want to give you an opportunity to be someone she’s going to end up losing as well.
She doesn’t believe that you’re in love with her because in her eyes, there are so many more reasons to believe otherwise. She has been bent and broken. She has been through hell and back. She has been through a lot – and she’s still going. She’s still running. There were times wherein she didn’t know how she would be able to keep pushing forward. But here she is; placing one foot in front of the other. But don’t think that it’s easy for her. Don’t think that she doesn’t go through days where all she wants to do is lock herself in her room where she is safe from the manipulation and abuse of other people.
There are times where she feels so lost and confused that she loses all sense of meaning and ambition in life. She doesn’t believe that you love her even though she desperately WANTS to believe that you do. She really WANTS to buy into the whole idea of someone falling for her; of treating her the way that she deserves to be treated. But getting her hopes up has only failed her in the past; and she doesn’t want to fall victim to her own naivety once more. She doesn’t want to be setting herself up for another disappointment. She knows that it’s a struggle having to deal with her loneliness.
But she also knows that it’s a bigger struggle having to get over a love that was so close to being in your grasp. She is at a point in her life now where she thinks that anything good that might happen to her is just too good to be true, and so she has a natural inclination to just doubt everything. Or maybe she doesn’t believe that you’re in love with her because she doesn’t want to be put in the position of having to reciprocate that love. Maybe she’s scared of loving you. Maybe she’s scared of falling for you. Maybe she has somehow screwed up in the past when she fell in love with someone.
Maybe she ended up breaking someone’s heart – and she saw the kind of emotional damage and trauma that she wreaked on that person’s life. And maybe she’s scared that karma is out to get her – that maybe you might be the ghosts of her pasts that have come back to haunt her. Maybe you are going to be her karma. Maybe you are going to hurt you the way that she has hurt other people before. Maybe she believes that you are her day of reckoning. Maybe she believes that you are the human embodiment of her having to pay for her sins.
Maybe she doesn’t believe that you’re in love with her because the thought of falling in love with you too absolutely terrifies her. Maybe she is so scarred by the sins of her past. Maybe the guilt is still weighing her down. Maybe she has somehow convinced herself to believe that love is never going to find her because she took love away from other people before. Maybe she thinks that because she messed with people in the past; people are just going to continually mess with her as well. Or maybe, just maybe. She doesn’t believe that you love her because she doesn’t even love herself.
Maybe it’s your job to convince her that she is worthy and deserving of love. Maybe you have to take it upon yourself to convince her that there are many facets of her personality that are worth falling for. Maybe you should tell her that love is something that she need not fear; and that if she lets it into her life, love can be the single greatest thing she could ever experience. Maybe you have to take it upon yourself to open her eyes to the wonders of love; to the beauty of falling for someone who loves you in return. Maybe you’re the one who has to make her unafraid. Maybe you’re the one who has to appease her of all her fears. Maybe you’re the one who has to get rid of all of her insecurities – and you can only do that if you love her in ways that she has never been loved before.
