It seems almost counter-intuitive to say that you don’t need to be having sex if you want to be increasing the intimacy in your relationship. But it’s the truth. And hold on. This shouldn’t be taken to mean that you should stop having sex in your relationship either. You just need to be able to separate the ideas of sex and intimacy because they are not the same things at all.
Sex is important, yes. But you have to understand that sex is merely a byproduct of intimacy. Intimacy is the umbrella in which sex, closeness, openness, and affection all fall under. And you have to make sure that you are constantly working and building on your intimacy the deeper you get into your relationships.
Typically, there is no shortage of intimacy in the early stages of a relationship. When you are just starting out as a couple, you both really make an effort to be more attractive to one another. Your grooming is on point. You wear the best clothes that you have. You hit the gym often to make sure that you’re taking care of that bod. You do whatever you can on a personal level to get your partner attracted to you.
You’re probably not even having sex yet, but you are always making an effort to bridge that gap between the both of you. You are constantly finding ways to get closer to one another so that you feel more connected. But then, the initial high of a young relationship will start to die down – and you stop feeling the pressure a little bit. This is good in the sense that you are establishing a kind of stability and consistency in your relationship.
You are finding ways to be intimate with one another in more subdued and more simple ways. But it’s also important that you never grow complacent in your love for each other.
Intimacy can manifest itself in different ways depending on the couple involved. For some couples, intimacy means having long and deep conversations that last throughout the night about anything and everything that they can think of. For others, intimacy can be something as simple as sitting down beside each other on the couch and just enjoying each other’s company without necessarily talking too much.
It’s the little things. It’s stuff like this that you can do on a consistent basis which really builds your intimacy for one another over time. Sex is great, yes. But it’s not necessarily going to serve as the foundation of your intimacy. It’s only a manifestation of how intimate you really are together.
Why are your libidos not on full blast anymore?
Well, libidos are going to stabilize after some time. This is what is most popularly known as the end of the honeymoon phase. Your relationship is going to get to a point where your feelings and emotions aren’t always going to be so intense – at least not as much as before. However, the stabilizing of your libidos doesn’t necessarily have to mean that you feel less attracted towards one another.
It’s just that that attraction has taken on a more subtle and subdued form. You should see it as more of an evolution than a regression. If your love for one another is real, you are still going to stay as connected and as intimate with one another as possible. But you still need to constantly work at it throughout the duration of your relationship.
Just how satisfied are you with your relationship?
Take a long hard look at your relationship and try to assess just how intimate you are with one another. Are you still keeping each other satisfied? Is your relationship dynamic enough to adapt to shifting moods and environments? Are you both free to express your feelings for one another in a safe and honest manner?
If you feel like the intimacy in your relationship is somewhat subsiding, then you really have to act. You don’t have to panic, but you can’t be complacent either. Intimacy can always be built so as long as the two of you are willing to work at it. Here are some ways in which the two of you can improve your intimacy:
- Go for long walks while holding each other’s hands.
- Give one another nightly massages.
- Have picnics at the park together where you can feel alone in a large group of people.
- Send flirty texts to one another throughout the day.
- Just lay in bed and talk about whatever right before you go to sleep.
- Bring up your happiest and best moments together during conversations.
- Cook dinner together for a fun stay-in date.
- Work out together. Get sweaty and healthy.
- Have a good old make-out session.
- Make it a point to always express your gratitude and appreciation for one another.
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