A lot of people say that “actions speak louder than words” in relationships. And that might be true to some extent. But you shouldn’t make the mistake of thinking that words don’t matter at all. There is still value in being an excellent communicator in a relationship, and you can tell a lot about how a person feels about you based on what they say to you. Don’t be so quick to dismiss the bad things that he tells you because these can be huge red flags for serious issues that may plague your relationship in the future. And you don’t want that. You don’t want to be blindsided by any terrible behavior that your partner may have.
And that’s why you need to be paying attention to the things that he’s telling you. If you find that your partner is genuinely guilty of saying all of these things to you, then you should be worried. That is an indication that his feelings for you aren’t ideal, and it’s probably best for you to leave him already. You deserve to be with someone who doesn’t talk to you like that; someone who treats you will participate in both actions and words. Here are a few things that you should never have to tolerate a man saying to you.
1. “You’re just overdramatic again.”
He should never be invalidating your emotions like that. If you’re reacting to a stressful situation in your way, it shouldn’t matter that you’re being overdramatic or not. As your boyfriend, he should be calming you down. He should be empathizing with you. He should be doing his best to help you gain a better perspective of the situation to give you peace of mind. He shouldn’t be invalidating your feelings just because he thinks you might be overreacting to something. He should always be taking your feelings and opinions seriously.
2. “If you loved me, then you would…”
This may seem completely harmless at first, but what you don’t realize is that this is a blatant form of emotional manipulation, and you shouldn’t be buying it. He shouldn’t be manipulating you into doing something. He shouldn’t be asking you to prove your love for him by asking you to do selfish things. Love is never selfish. He shouldn’t be asking you to confirm your love in such a manner. A big part of what makes a healthy relationship is trust.
3. “Why can’t you be more like my ex?”
Comparisons to other girls or other relationships, in general, are always out of bounds. This is something that you should never have to tolerate in the relationship. But it’s even worse when he has the gall to compare you to his past flames and former girlfriends. He shouldn’t be making you feel bad in such a way. He should be constructively criticizing you out of love and sensitivity. He shouldn’t be doing it just to hurt you and make you feel bad. And he should be looking at you as a person; not as an object that he can compare to other things and experiences.
4. “Can you just shut up for a second?”
You should ALWAYS be allowed to talk and express yourself in your relationship. When you have a man who tells you to shut up; this is a guy who is too immature to pay attention to your needs. This is a man who isn’t interested in growing and listening to whatever you might have to say. This is a guy; you can’t rely on to make you feel safe about expressing yourself. This is a man who would rather silence and censor you.