Just Because You’re With Your Soulmate Doesn’t Mean That You’re Not Going To Have Problems

You WILL have problems, and that’s okay.

The first instinct whenever problems or challenges arise in a relationship is to always look to your partner and try to figure out the parts of them that you could improve. You try to spot out their flaws and you will try to find ways to change them or turn them into more ideal versions of themselves. But here’s something that you’ve got to realize as early as now: no human being is ever going to be ideal. We all have our fair share of imperfections and we are never going to be without our flaws. Next, you don’t have the power to change another person. As much as we want to think that we can influence other people with our words and our gestures, ultimately, the decision to change is always going to come intrinsically; it’s always going to come from within. So the best that you can do to a soulmate who is flawed is to just love and accept them for who they are. That is the real beauty of love and companionship.

And once you understand that, then you’re going to realize that when you choose to fall in love with someone, you are also choosing to fall in love with that person’s imperfections. You can’t just pick and choose the parts that you fall in love with. When you fall in love with someone, you fall in love with a person entirely. There is no such thing as falling in love with a perfect person because perfect people just don’t exist in this world. And since it’s a given that your partner is not going to be perfect (and neither are you, by the way), then it’s also going to be a given that your relationship isn’t going to be perfect.

So since the presence of flaws and imperfections in a relationship is going to be a constant, then undoubtedly, problems are going to arise. There will be conflicts and contradictions. There will be times wherein you will need to be combative and confrontational. There are times wherein the both of you will need to argue with one another. And that’s okay. That’s perfectly normal. Conflicts in relationships are going to be inevitable. This is just your way of practicing your individuality as human beings. However, just because conflicts are inevitable doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be taking them seriously. You can’t afford to take your relationship problems for granted. You have to be able to tackle your problems and your conflicts in a constructive manner. If you manage them poorly or if you just choose to ignore them, then the problems can pile up and it can end up being detrimental to your relationship. You can’t afford to be allowing your relationship to implode by refusing to manage your conflicts well. Even if you are in a loving relationship with your soulmate, if you allow your problems to go unchecked, you are eventually going to grow apart. But if you take an active role in actually resolving your conflicts, then you are going to be building on the bond that you have for one another. You are going to be connecting with each other in ways that may seem comfortable at first, but you will come out stronger because of it. 

This is where the importance of having strong, open, and honest lines of communication come in. A lot of couples will have very trivial understandings of what communication means in a relationship. They will mistakenly think that quality communication is merely limited to asking one another about how their days are going or asking how their projects at work are coming along. Communication is so much more than that. The art of communication in a relationship covers everything that surrounds your lives as a couple. You have to be able to tap into each other’s emotions no matter how uncomfortable it may be to do so. You have to be brave enough to actually bring up points of conversation that may be awkward to talk about. You have to have the kind of freedom that is necessary to speak your peace; to say what you want without any fear. You have to allow one another to always be honest with one another even if the truth is awkward, uncomfortable, and painful. You must always practice full honesty if you want your relationship to work because that is the only way for you to actively address the issues and problems that your relationship may face.

So don’t be afraid if your relationship starts to develop some problems. Don’t worry if things won’t be as easy as you thought they would be. That’s how relationships become stronger. That’s how relationships are made beautiful not by just the good parts, but by your abilities to get over the bad parts as well.

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