10 Things I Learned While All My Friends Were Getting Hitched

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It’s difficult when everyone around you seems to be taking their lives and relationships to the next level. Your friends are moving in with each other, some are getting engaged, and others are already tying the knot. A few may even be having babies at this point. You start questioning your own life choices and your own direction in life; you can’t help but wonder why everyone else is moving so fast and you seem to just be stuck where you are. You choose to take an introspective approach on love and relationships. You think about it more, and you feel a little less. I’m going through that phase right now and after much introspection, there are some things that I’ve managed to pick up along the way:

It’s difficult when everyone around you seems to be taking their lives and relationships to the next level. Your friends are moving in with each other, some are getting engaged, and others are already tying the knot. A few may even be having babies at this point.

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You start questioning your own life choices and your own direction in life; you can’t help but wonder why everyone else is moving so fast and you seem to just be stuck where you are. You choose to take an introspective approach on love and relationships.

You think about it more, and you feel a little less. I’m going through that phase right now and after much introspection, there are some things that I’ve managed to pick up along the way:

1. Your type is never set in stone; it’s constantly evolving.

Early on, during the infant stages in our pursuit of love, we have a mental checklist of everything we want out of a partner. Blonde hair, blue eyes, dashing smile. Whatever. And then overtime, we start making compromises, and our tastes start to change. I’ve discovered that our type of people really depends on where we are in our lives. As we learn more about ourselves as we go along, we also discover more about the kind of people we’re attracted to.

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2. Getting a stable career is crucial in finding a stable relationship.

Trust me when I say that relationships are difficult; and that the difficulties are intensified when you don’t have a stable career going on for you. Having a stable job means that you’re free from the pressures and struggles of having to survive. Yes, love is important, but it just isn’t enough to sustain a relationship on its own. You need to be realistic and have a sense of financial security as well.

3. Dating teaches you more about yourself than it does about others.

Dating is essentially a human-based trial and error. You find someone, and it’s either you like them or you don’t. You mentally take note of all the parts that you like, and the parts that you weren’t interested in. And then you start seeing a pattern there that’s consistent with those people you actually liked. These preferences are reflections of who you are as a person.– Continue reading on the next page


4. When it comes to friends; less is more.

As you get older, having a large friends’ list isn’t as important as having a close-knit group of people who you can rely on day and night. There’s really no point in maintaining acquaintances with people you can’t count on. It’s much better to have an intimate group of people who you can call to help you out at any given moment.

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5. No one should ever have to settle for being in a relationship with someone.

There’s too much pressure in society nowadays to find love and companionship. Sometimes, this pressure leads to people settling for relationships that aren’t right for them. In the long run, they end up regretting their decisions to settle and are left with nothing but sadness and toxicity. Don’t settle for just anyone. Find the right person to build a relationship and don’t waste your time with people who don’t work for you.

6. Self-discovery is an important rite of passage before marriage.

Know who you are first. It is essential that you go through a phase of self-discovery before you can know what you want out of a relationship. If you go into a relationship without having any expectations, then that could leave room for stagnancy. You never want a relationship to just stay put and you need to have a solid vision for yourself regarding the future.

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7. Kids are not a marital requirement.

Just because you’re married, you shouldn’t feel the pressure of having children. Lots of marriages fail because couples feel compelled to have kids even though they’re not ready for it. Having children is a huge financial, moral, and emotional responsibility. Married couples shouldn’t be taking decisions like these lightly.– Continue reading on the next page


8. When friends get married; they still stay in your life.

It’s not true that you lose your friends to marriage. If they’re really your true friends, you might even end up expanding your social circles with the people they marry. Real friends make an effort to stay in their life despite their marital status. You need not worry about having your best friends leave you for their husbands.

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9. Independence is not as hard as they make it out to be.

Don’t be so afraid of being alone. While romantic companionship is great, being single and independent isn’t so bad. It’s a great way to find out who you really are and what you’re made of. Face the world with courage, confidence, and a smile on your face. Know that you’re ready to take on any challenges it throws your way whether or not you’re single.

10. Marriage isn’t the key to happiness.

Don’t rush into a marriage. Don’t think that it can be a cure for a bad relationship. Don’t assume that it will bring happiness to your sad life. Marriage is something that should be undertaken without much force. You can’t have unrealistic expectations with marriage because you will end up being heartbroken and dejected.

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